Wrist cutter
by katscratchstudios
Summary: One shot, AU Lucy pov...may continue if asked politely. Lucy is forced to participate in an exercise along with the whole hospital. Conditions are usually common knowledge...but lucy didn't tell them everything she does at night. with courage she reveals the last of three...read to find out how she reveals it and what her best friends reaction is.


My first nalu and my first one shot! the song below is wrist cutter by Gumi...she sings in Japanese

* * *

I stood in front of the large group of people at the fairytail psychiatric hospital for the mentally ill, or spiritually troubled. It was a strange place named by a young girl who got over her illness and founded it; it was a solace for anyone who needed it, be you mentally ill, a recovering criminal, or to traumatized to go home. Most patients spend their lives here even after they are cured…they work here and help others. Mira is a nurse and a patient suffering from multiple personalities and bi polar disorder, Natsu a pyro and my boyfriend(We haven't told anyone yet), Erza was traumatized and can't be left alone, gray…no one really knew exactly what was wrong with him besides that he strips, Cana was an alcoholic, Juvia is o.c.d…gray the object of her obsession, Wendy was the sole survivor of a mass murder and has nowhere to go, Carla Happy and Panterlilly suffer from a shared delusion that they are a rare breed of talking cats called exceed and usually stick by Natsu Wendy and Gajeel, Gajeel was the same as Wendy, Romeo was a pyro like his father, Gildarts is here for his daughter, Lisana has multiple personalities, Elfman is here for his sisters…and the others would take much to long. I on the other hand suffer from a bit more than everyone else. Looking at me you couldn't tell. Long blond hair, brown eyes, double D breasts and not to mention my wealthy background…but I am a clepto, cutter, and I'm schizo; I see people who are named after the zodiacs, they call me princess and when I was younger I used to think they were real…don't tell but I still talk back to them. I also like keys old ones, I have many now and I guess some people had to make extras. So now I'm standing in front of everyone due to an exercise where we have to sing a song about one of our ailments. I tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear and take a breath…might as well begin.

"I'm going to sing a song by the vocaloids...it's called wrist cutter."

Iroaseta kanjou wo kirihanasu tame  
Kizamareta tensen wo yubi de nazoru yo  
Nakeru hodo kantan ni dekite shimau kara  
Muzukashiku kangaezu chigireba ii no

I'm going to trace the pre-made dotted line with my finger  
To tear off my faded emotions  
It's something I can do without any effort  
So I should just tear them up without thinking too much about it

Sore wa kinou no asa made boku no uchigawa ni atta noni  
Ki ga tsukeba ima wa me no mae de korogatte iru'n da

It was still inside me until yesterday morning  
And yet, when I come to realize it I find it tumbling right in front of my eyes

Kanjouron de kiritotta mikansei de aimai na koi no iro wa  
Yamaori taniori shiwakucha ni natteta  
"Kankei nai" tte warikitte GOMI bako ni suterareta nara  
Kiritorarete yuku kinou nagashita namida

The incomplete and ambiguous color of love that I tore off based on my sentimental argument  
Was folded with the mountain fold and then with the valley fold only to end up completely wrinkled  
If only I could throw it into a trash can saying with confidence that this has nothing to do with me  
But the tears I shed yesterday are getting torn off

Tojikometa kanjou wo tokihanasu tame  
Kojiaketa kakushinhan koe wo hisomete  
Tsukurareta guuzen mo shinjita uso mo  
Akirameta shunkan ni iro wo kaeru no

I'm going to wrench open my crime of conscience in a quiet voice  
To set free my confined emotions  
The fabricated coincidences and the lies I trusted  
Will change their color the moment I give up

Iranai kioku wo haijo shite omotai nimotsu nagedashite  
Soko ni nokosareta mono wa yowai jibun dake  
Sore wa kinou no yoru made kirei na omoide datta noni  
Ki ga tsukeba ima wa namae sae omoidasenai no

Once I remove all of my unnecessary memories and throw away my heavy luggage  
The only thing I will be left with will be my weak self  
It was still a beautiful memory within me until last night  
And yet, when I come to realize it I can't even recall its name now

Kanjouron de kiritotta mikansei de aimai na koi no iro wa  
Yamaori taniori shiwakucha ni natteta  
"Kankei nai" tte warikitte GOMI bako ni suterareta nara  
Kiritorarete yuku kinou nagashita namida

The incomplete and ambiguous color of love that I tore off based on my sentimental argument  
Was folded with the mountain fold and then with the valley fold only to end up completely wrinkled  
If only I could throw it into a trash can saying with confidence that this has nothing to do with me  
But the tears I shed yesterday are getting torn off

Kiritorarete yuku kinou aishita hito

The one I loved yesterday is getting torn off

I breathed out and bowed…they didn't know about this part. As I started to walk out of the room I felt someone grab me from behind. I turned to see Natsu and watched as he pulled up my sleeves to see the fresh bandages. He didn't look at me with pity, nor did he drop my hand as if it was poison like the last person I told. He held me close and kissed me in front of everyone. As he pulled away he whispered. "For every cut you give yourself…from now on I'll give myself one to."

Needless to say, after he proved himself and we wore matching scars

I don't cut anymore.

but sometimes i get the urge

the lack of feeling

but natsu...my pyro

my fire

burns it away


End file.
